Okay, so it’s like this. I have an assignment and it is due at 9.30am tmr, which is 17 hours away. I have done around 50% of the work, and I’m having the night out, and according to the looks that I have got so far, that is suicidal.
I pretty much don’t give a damn.
That’s why I don’t like to let ppl know when I work.
Fighting~
Muah ha ha ha ha XD
The reason for this is just that I have too much time on hand, I’m bored and I don’t like to do my assignments XDDD
Not that I have an impressive amount of things, just that I’m proud of what I have.
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[My first two albums. I’d never bought one before these. Can you see how precious?]
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[I have card of the five. Hooray XD I must be one of the first ones to get The Best Selection 2010, that’s how I got all five of them XD]
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[This is not mine :”> But I’ll get one very soon XD Preferably ver. C]
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[Ze:a first two albums. I’m so glad I got my hand on these so soon, rather than waiting quite a long time to buy those of DBSK]
[I hate how I smiled on this pic >”<]
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[Thanks dearly to my BFF who contributed the SuJu part XD I made a promise to myself to get the fourth album as soon as it’s released]
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Yay………..XDDDDD
The thing I’d love to have now is the admission to Kyung Hee University as an exchange student. I know it sounds…unjustified to choose a University dependent on who you might meet there (I mean, Hong Ki and Jong Hoon of FT Island, Lee Joon of MBLAQ…XD…Not to mention being in Seoul for ONE WHOLE YEAR, just imagine how much I could do there, muah ha ha ha ha)
This is my 5th blog, I think. I keep opening and closing blogs. I like signing up to things, get to know new people, but as soon as I start to feel uncomfortable, I leave. It’s like opening a door, just a little, to peek outside and then end up running away from that little opening.
I have that bad habit of constantly wanting to be seen, but scared to get out.
It’s just that, I don’t really believe in living true in front of anyone. Nobody out there has the ability of accepting everything. Everybody wants things to go according to their wish. And wishes do crush each other.
Laying low is not something enjoyable. But is does make somebody else enjoy their day a little more. The best way to fit in in this world is knowing how to let people enjoy themselves in one’s presence. That is what I’m working hard on. People always say I don’t have a clue as to how to be aware of things around me. Either I try too hard, or I don’t try at all.
Once in a while, I try to show some of the things I consider to be “the real me”, but back up in the process. It’s not entirely true that I don’t want others to “See” me. It’s just that, when you are so close to somebody that they think they know you, showing them something totally contradictory is somewhat…awkward. What would happen after that? Will they go on being with you as ever, or stay disgustedly far away? Of course there are neutral reactions too, but then again, what would happen? And how should you react to that?
I am a coward, I’m afraid. I don’t really have the nerve to be the main role in even my dreams.
It’s not like I’m an emo. I’m well aware of what I’m capable of, and I do know how to live up to all the expectations laid on me. Only the mental and emotional ways of mine are a little off-course. I don’t really trust anything good in me.
So, here, in this space, in this blog, again, I try to show myself.
Please, somebody, out there, see me.
A Flame that Flows 